


Of idiot ghouls and long talks

by LeeGale



Series: Tokyo Heroes [13]
Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga), Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alpha Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Cannibalism, Established Relationship, How Do I Tag, Implied Sexual Content, Kinda, M/M, Okay here's the weird bits, Omega Amon Koutarou, Omega Verse, Sexual Tension, This is a mess tbh, Weirdness, also, because ghouls, just... weird, mpreg mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:27:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29261961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeeGale/pseuds/LeeGale
Summary: A few days after Koutarou's heat ended, he gets caught up in a fight, and after it, he and Kaneki have a much needed conversation...
Relationships: Amon Koutarou/Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise
Series: Tokyo Heroes [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1691059
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Of idiot ghouls and long talks

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so before you go any further, I think it's time I finaly specifically tell you what ghouls are like in this series. As you should know, they aren't quite the same as in cannon, so here are the facts for them in this series:  
> \- Ghouls have to eat non-ghouls to survive, like in the anime/manga, but they can eat a limited amount of non-ghoul food, and it tastes good, although it can still poison them.  
> \- Rather than having kagnues that are like they are in the anime and manga, kagunes are the source of their 'superpowers', which vary for everyone. They are still used as to hurt ghouls, since they are physical sources of power, but normal weapons work too.   
> \- Ghouls don't have super-healing like they do in cannon. They can heal faster if they eat whilst hurt, but they can be hurt like normal people, unless they have a healing power.  
> \- Ghoul-human relationship issues to do with pregnancy are still relevant.

Kaneki and Koutarou never really... talked, about the whole 'wanting kids potentially, maybe, it may just have been a heat thing' thing, and Koutarou never brought up Kaneki eating from him again. Which was fine. It was okay. ...Except it really wasn't and it was all Kaneki could think about. He... He'd always wanted kids, but now he was a ghoul... He didn't know if that was possible. And it hurt. Especially considering Koutarou had said he wanted kids too... And there was the whole eating thing! Kaneki wanted to, oh he wanted to so much, but he knew he shouldn't. Koutarou was... He was divine. He was so much more than food, obviously, but ever since he'd offered, Kaneki couldn't stop thinking about it...

Which may have been how, subconsciously, Kaneki got into this situation. Probably. Maybe. He didn't know... But what he did know was that he was currently stuck between a hurt (delicious, amazing, loving) Koutarou and some gourmet ghoul that had decided she wanted to eat him. And, well... Like Hell Kaneki was going to let that happen. Koutarou was  _ his _ , not this gourmet's... So he got involved, jumping between Koutarou and the ghoul when she tried to advance on the bleeding omega. The smell of his blood, combined with the lingering scent of his heat and of Kaneki himself, made the ghoul's head swim, but he ignored in favour of glaring down the other ghoul and growling, "Back. Up."

"Or what?" the other ghoul - Mother, if Kaneki remember correctly. Shuu had warned him about her - laughed, a vile, nasty noise that Kaneki wanted to knock out her of mouth, "You, Eyepatch, aren't a threat. You don't scare me. I-"

Whilst she started her monologue, Kaneki moved. It was quick and precise, and before the other ghoul could even register what had happened, Kaneki was on her. He managed to stick her with the syringe needed to knock her out, but he wasn't quick enough to get back. So, before the drugs had a chance to take effect, she struck out, slashing Kaneki with the katana she held. It made the half-ghoul hiss, but he managed to dodge her next strike, kicking out her legs and hitting her over the head with the sharp edge of his elbow. It was enough to put her down, fast asleep, and Kaneki was thankful for such a quick fight. He turned to Koutarou and, ignoring his knawing hunger and the way Koutarou's blood made him salivate, smiled at his boyfriend. However, the horrified look on his face made Kaneki frown, only to look down at his wound. Oh... That was worse than he'd thought...

"I'm fine," he told Koutarou, shrugging and ignoring how the action prompted his wound to squirt out more blood. Koutarou clearly didn't believe him, struggling to his feet, only for Kaneki to push him back down, shaking his head and murmuring, "No, you need to stay there. You're hurt..."

"So are you-"

"I'll text the group chat, and one of them can help," Kaneki cut Koutarou's argument off, ignoring how his instincts were screaming at him to just take, eat,  _ own- _

"Damn, Patchy, you're hunger is  _ insane _ right now..." Rize laughed, startling both conscious men in the alley. It only took Kaneki half a second to relax, though, rolling his eyes at Rize and focusing on Mother. He didn't have any of his ghoul-standard cuffs on him (he'd just heard Koutarou in danger and grabbed his mask and scent blockers), so he had to make do... Kicking the ghoul's katana over to Koutarou, Kaneki grabbed a long piece of fabric he'd spotted in one of the many bins in the alley, using it to quickly but effectively tie Mother up, making sure she wouldn't be able to escape her bonds any time soon. As he worked, though, Rize kept up a running commentary, hanging out on a fire escape and all but purring, "You know, you really need to eat more... And I mean in more than just the sexual sense. Although, I do like it when you put on a show... I-"

"Rize, I told you to not watch me when I'm busy," Kaneki sighed, done with Mother and returning to Koutarou's side. Ignoring his own wound, he took quick stock of how injured Koutarou was. He'd been in worse conditions before, Kaneki knew, but seeing him hurt like this... It made something angry and violent rise up in the ghoul, something Rize seemed to pick up on...

"Aw, are you feeling protective? Don't you just want to kill Mother, for hurting your boy-toy?" she teased, and Kaneki sent her a nasty glare, cracking a finger as he pulled out his phone, sending off a quick message with details about what had happened and where they were. Of course, his glare did nothing to deter Rize, who smirked, a dark, dangerous thing, and declared, "You know, no one would blame you for killing her. She hurt your mate-"

"Rize!" Kaneki hissed, his heart stopping in his chest. He... He and Koutarou hadn't talked about that yet! He... He took a deep, calming breath and focused on Koutarou, only to freeze. The omega looked... surprised, but also pretty happy. He smiled at Kaneki, a soft, sweet thing Kaneki had never seen before, and looked ready to say something... But he didn't get the chance to. Instead, all three of them were distracted by a familiar voice asking where they were, exactly... Kaneki hesitated, more than curious as to what Koutarou wanted to say, but also well aware of the fact that they were both injured and needed medical attention, before sighing and calling out, "We're here, Akira!"

Akira appeared at the opening of the alley, visibly relaxing when she saw Kaneki and Koutarou. Of course, she tensed again as soon as she saw Rize, but the purple-haired ghoul just grinned and told Kaneki, "You really need to eat, Patch. Maybe take your boyfriend up on his offer..." before disappearing off... Akira was visibly confused, so Kaneki was quick to explain.

"Rize," he stated, which was enough for Akira. She nodded, glancing briefly at Mother, before asking exactly what had happened. Kaneki let Koutarou take the lead there, telling Akira about the events, as he focused on helping his boyfriend get to his feet safely... Before Koutarou was even done speaking, though, Kaneki froze. He heard something... Frowning, he looked towards the source of the noise and lowered his voice, cutting Koutarou off with a soft, "Wait a second..."

As Koutarou fell silent, the noise repeated itself. It almost sounded... Human... Kaneki didn't hesitate to pass Koutarou to Akira, ignoring his boyfriend's noise of protest in favour of following the sound. It was close... It was- Aha! It was...  _ Shit _ . Kaneki's heart stopped beating for a second when he found the source of the noise. It was a kid... The familiar scent in his nose told Kaneki all he needed to know (for now) as he crouched in front of the kid, keeping his voice as calm as possible as he greeted them (he wanted to say they were a girl? But they were too dirty and the light was too bad for him to properly tell) with a quiet, "Hey there..."

The kid flinched, eyes wide and scared, and Kaneki hesitated. He knew his mask was probably scaring them, but he didn't have a choice but to wear it. Taking it off, even just for the kid, could be dangerous- Before Kaneki could get too caught up in trying to figure out how to calm the kid, they distracted him by moving their hands in a familiar way... It took Kaneki a second to register what the kid had done, but he was quick to figure it out. They were signing... Dusting off his old skills, Kaneki took a few moments to figure out what the kid had said (something about not wanting to be hurt) before clearing his throat and signing back,  _ 'Hi, I'm not going to hurt you...' _

_ 'You hurt Mother,'  _ the kid signed back, glancing towards where Mother was just barely visible. It took Kaneki aback for a second, but he quickly remembered that it was just her code name. He hoped... He glanced at the unconscious ghoul before refocusing on the half-ghoul in front of him, quickly telling them that he'd had no choice. They seemed to hesitate for a long second, scared, but they soon asked,  _ 'Can she hurt me anymore?' _

That just made Kaneki ache as he wondered just how the kid knew Mother, but he shook his head quickly. For a long moment, the kid watched Mother, their eyes wide and their skin pale, before they looked back at Kaneki and hesitantly signed,  _ 'I'm safe?' _

_ 'I promise,'  _ Kaneki replied, distinctly aware of the way Akira and Koutarou were edging closer. Unfortunately, their proximity seemed to scare the kid, but Kaneki was quick to calm them, signing,  _ 'Don't mind those two. They're my friends.' _

_ 'But... But they're doves...'  _ the kid's eyes didn't stary away from Akira and Koutarou, and Kaneki hesitated. He wasn't sure what he could say (or, well, sign) to help the kid... He soon came up with a plan of action, and signed to the kid, telling them that Akira and Koutarou were just trying to help ghouls like them. It took the kid a few minutes to relax, Kaneki reassuring them the entire time, but eventually, they crawled out of the little hidey-hole they'd been in. Although, they kept their wary eyes on Koutarou and Akira... As soon as they were out properly, they hid behind Kaneki, glaring at Koutarou and Akira. It made Kaneki's heart squeeze, reminding him of when he'd first met Liliya and Annushka... He shoved that thought away, focusing on Akira and Koutarou. They were both watching him and the kid closely, even as Koutarou bled slowly, and Kaneki couldn't fight the way he just wanted to take Koutarou somewhere safe-

"How far out is backup?" he asked instead, making sure to keep himself between the kid and the Doves. Of course, that made something that he couldn't quite identify flash across Koutarou's face, but Akira was speaking up before he had the chance to question it, answering his question. So, instead of pressing as to why Koutarou had looked so sad for that split-second, Kaneki relaxed in the knowledge that backup was just a couple of minutes away, instead turning to the kid and kneeling, signing to them,  _ 'Some people who can help you are on their way. Do you want me to stay with you?' _

At the kid's hesitant nod, Kaneki smiled slightly before quickly asking them their name. They hesitated, lost, before replying shakily,  _ 'Mother called me Baillie...' _

_ 'Alright, Baillie, I'm going to keep you safe...'  _ Kaneki promised, his actions confident yet not too dramatic. Thankfully, that seemed to be enough for the kid, who relaxed with a small, shaky smile. That just made Kaneki smile back before he glanced at Akira and Koutarou. They were watching the kid, torn between concern and confusion, so Kaneki sighed and spoke up, "The kid's a half-ghoul, like me, and it seems like they were with Mother there. I think she may have abused them... And they don't trust Doves."

A flash of understanding danced across both Koutarou and Akira's faces, but Kaneki was distracted by Baillie, who decided to tug on his shirt to catch his attention. When he looked down at the kid, he recognised that look...

_ "I... I'm sorry, but I'm so, so hungry..."  _ they signed, their eyes desperate. It made something in Kaneki ache, partially because he knew what it felt like to be hungry as a ghoul but mostly because that was one of the first things Annushka and Lilliya had said to him too... But he couldn't feed the kid. Not right now. Not in front of Koutarou and Akira without freaking them out- But Baillie looked like they were close to fainting...

"Koutarou, Akira, I'm going to let Baillie eat from me. This may make you feel uncomfortable, so please turn around," Kaneki sighed, making sure to keep his eyes on Baillie. Of course, his plan wasn't well-received...

"Eyepatch, you look like you haven't eaten properly in ages, you can't-"

"Baillie is starving, Akira," Kaneki cut the protest off, already kneeling so it would be easier for Baillie to eat, "Besides, I'll be fine. I'll eat later-"

"Bullshit," Koutarou hissed, glaring slightly at Kaneki. It made the ghoul flinch, but Koutarou pressed on before he had the chance to otherwise react, "You barely eat at all. You... You need to eat."

"I'm fine-"

"Baillie can eat from me-"

"Like Hell I'm letting another ghoul eat from you," Kaneki snarled, shaking his head. Koutarou paused, blinking in surprise, but Kaneki pressed on, "You're  _ mine _ . I'm the only ghoul allowed to eat from you."

Koutarou raised an eyebrow at that, visibly displeased as he stated, "And yet you said you won't eat me."

Kaneki couldn't fight the annoyed noise that crawled up his throat, barely restraining himself from just going over there and biting Koutarou, drowning in that delicious taste- That thought is what shook Kaneki from his rage, and he purposefully took a deep, calming breath before grumbling, "Now is  _ really _ not the time to discuss this..."

"I-" 

This time, Koutarou was cut off by a familiar voice at the end of the alleyway calling out to ask where they were. Kaneki didn't even hesitate to reply, and soon enough Suzuya and Shinohara appeared, both looking ready for a fight. Of course, they both relaxed when they realised there was no immediate danger. However, Kaneki wasn't paying them any attention, since Baillie had started to tug on his shirt. The child's eyes were wide, pain, hunger and fear battling visibly, and Kaneki's heart ached. But there wasn't time to feed them yet... So, instead of giving in, Kaneki signed to Baillie that he'd make sure they ate soon enough before focusing on the Doves and stating, "I need to get the kid here somewhere safe for ghouls."

"You need medical attention first," Koutarou argued, glaring slightly, and Kaneki rolled his eyes. He was fine, really, the wound Mother had given him didn't even hurt! He-

"Amon's right," Akira insisted, frowning deeply. Kaneki sighed, ready to argue, only to be hit by a wave of dizziness that nearly floored him. He was only kept upright because he leaned against a nearby wall, gripping his head as it started to ache. The actions concerned Koutarou and Akira, prompting them both to step forward, but Kaneki waved them off with a mumbled excuse. Neither of them believed him, but they let it go in favour of Akira stating, "We should go back to headquarters."

"I don't think that's safe for the kid-"

"Eyepatch, you literally just nearly collapsed. You need medical attention immediately-"

"That was just because I haven't eaten in a while-"

"If you'd just let me-"

"I'm not going to eat from you-"

"But you-"

"Boys," Akira cut the arguing couple off, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes, "Eyepatch, you need to eat. Amon is offering, quite insistently, so why won't you accept his offer?"

At that, Kaneki hesitated. He... Well, he knew that his answer would likely upset the others... He knew they'd be uncomfortable if he told them that he didn't know if he'd be able to hold back. He knew they'd be freaked out and that it'd probably be the nail in the coffin in his and Koutarou's relationship. He knew that- He knew that Koutarou looked hurt by his insistence that he didn't feed from him. It was an odd thing to be upset about, but it still upset Koutarou... So, with a sigh, Kaneki let a half-lie fall from his lips, "I don't want to hurt him..."

That made Koutarou visibly soften, smiling slightly, even as Akira rolled her eyes and made some comment about useless idiots before clearing her throat and declaring, "Okay, why don't we go to Second Base? There's enough medical equipment to patch you two up, and it's safer for the kid than the CCG base."

That... That worked. Second Base, also known as the safehouse L had kitted out so it was workable for neutral ground between the CCG and ghouls, wasn't too far away either... Kaneki nodded his consent, and soon enough everyone else had agreed, and they were making their way to the base. Akira and Koutaou joined Suzuya and Shinohara in Shinohara's car whilst Kaneki carried Baillie across the roofs (something Koutarou didn't agree with, arguing that Kaneki was hurt so he needed a ride, but the half-ghoul had insisted that it was safer for everyone if he and Baillie didn't travel in an enclosed space with a bleeding man whilst starving), and soon enough, they were all on their separate ways...

Kaneki got to the base before the others, entering through his usual window (he was kinda glad L had set up a keycode for the window. It meant he didn't set off an alarm every time he went through it) before leading Baillie to the med bay. They were a frail, fragile kid, in a way Kaneki couldn't help but compare both to himself when he was younger, and to Liliya and Annushka when he'd found them... But he ignored that, sitting them down on a medical bed and asking,  _ "Are you hurt anywhere?" _

When Baillie shook their head, Kaneki relaxed instantly. That was good... He sent Baillie a small smile as he stated,  _ "Okay. I need to handle my injury, but as soon as I'm sorted, I'll get us both something to eat." _

The mention of food instantly perked Baillie up, and they nodded enthusiastically. Kaneki couldn't fight the fond smile that tugged at his lips or the chuckle that escaped him, even as he gathered up the equipment he needed to handle his wound. For a long moment, once he had everything, he hesitated. He didn't know if it was a good idea to deal with his injury in front of a very hungry half-ghoul... Oh well. He knew, if push came to shove, he could handle Baillie... So, instead of lingering, he carefully pulled his top over his head and off, leaving it on a medical table as he pulled himself up onto the table. He made sure to keep an eye on Baillie as he cleaned the wound, quickly assessing that it was bad enough to need stitches and that it'd probably scar, even if he ate as soon as he was done wrapping it. Ahh, shit, just enough scar to add to the collection... Sighing to himself, he made quick of the injury, finishing wrapping it just as Koutarou, Akira, Suzuya and Shinohara arrived in the medbay.

"Hey. I'll clean up my mess, then I'm going to find something for me and Baillie to eat," he informed the Doves, earning slightly disgusted looks from Suzuya and Shinohara. Thankfully, before either of them could feel too uncomfortable, Akira was nodding and agreeing, muttering something about seeing to Koutarou as she led the injured man to one of the beds. The sight of his mate made something in Kaneki yearn, aching to stay by his side and protect him, but he knew that if he did, his identity would be at risk. Besides, he and Baillie really needed to eat... So, instead of glueing himself to Koutarou's side, Kaneki cleaned away his mess before leading Baillie away, calling over his shoulder, "The kitchens are fully stocked with food for you guys. Make sure to eat and drink something!"

"Will do!" Akira replied, so Kaneki headed off, happy with the knowledge that she'd take care of Koutarou... 

It didn't take him long to find the 'ghoul kitchen' L had set up, and it only took one look in the fridge to find enough food for himself and Baillie. As he ate, sitting back-to-back with Baillie, Kaneki briefly considered just how L kept the fridge stocked so well... But he soon realised that he probably didn't want an answer to that, so he cut off his train of thought. Instead, he focused on Koutarou. He couldn't get his boyfriend out of his head, for all the wrong reasons. Compared to just that one bite of Koutarou, the meal Kaneki was eating was bland and unfulfilling, and Kaneki just wanted to go to Koutarou, to soothe him and eat from his pliant, willing flesh-

But he couldn't do that. Never. He'd have to hurt Koutarou to do that, and he would never,  _ never _ hurt Koutarou. He'd prefer to starve than do that... But the temptation was just so strong. Especially when Koutarou offered to feed him, or when other ghouls thought they could get even a nibble of that tender, delicate flesh-

This time, Kaneki was distracted by a sudden noise, just outside of the kitchen he was in. It sent him moving, jumping between Baillie and the kitchen door, crouching low and grabbing a knife from his boot, ready for a fight... Of course, he relaxed as soon as the door opened, rolling his eyes and putting his knife away as he stated, "We're eating, Akira. I doubt you want to see that..."

"I figured you'd want to know that Koutarou is okay, he'll make a full recovery, etc., Shinohara and Suzuya have headed back to base to give a full report, and I contacted Rabbit, told her about Baillie," Akira replied, purposefully not looking at Kaneki. The sight of her so disgusted by him made something burn in the half-ghoul, but he hid that behind a nod and a smile as he muttered something about finishing eating, cleaning up, then seeing Koutarou. That made Akira nod, too, as she said, "Alright. I'll stay with him until you're ready."

"Thanks, Akira," Kaneki replied as she left, waving over her shoulder. Once she was out of sight, Kaneki focused on Baillie. The kid was just finishing eating, so Kaneki sighed and got back to his food. It didn't take them long to finish, and soon enough, they were on their way to get cleaned up...

[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]

A couple of hours later, Kaneki was helping Koutarou settle into his bed, fussing over him as Liliya and Annushka rolled their eyes at him. After everything that had happened, Baillie (who, in the end, turned out to be a boy. Shows what natural androgyny and dirt can do, huh?) had gone to stay with Touka, Yoshimura and Hinami, seeing as they actually knew how to handle a ghoul kid whilst Akira had gone to give her report to Washuu and Koutarou had been told to take it easy for a couple of weeks. Which, in Washuu terms, meant he had to stay with Kaneki for a couple days to make sure he didn't pull any stitches and then take a couple of works off of work. At first, Koutarou had tried to argue, but all it had taken from Kaneki was a well-timed pout for him to cave... 

Which is what led to Kaneki's current issue. He knew he and Koutarou had a lot to talk about, but they were going to be living together temporarily (although, Kaneki could already picture what it would be like for it to be a more permanent thing...), so talking could make things really strained. But they had to talk... Sighing to himself and coming to a conclusion, Kaneki knew he needed to get Liliya and Annushka out of the apartment before he and Koutarou could talk. So, once he was sure Koutarou was comfortable, he led the teens out of the bedroom and quietly told them, "Koutarou and I have a few things we need to talk about, and I don't want you two listening in. Can you please go to Anteiku for a bit? Or to L's tower?"

"Sure," Liliya agreed, smiling slightly and rocking on the balls of their feet, "How long will you need?"

"A few hours?" Kaneki guessed, shrugging. Thankfully, it didn't take long for the teens to gather their things and head out. Although, unfortunately, that meant that Kaneki couldn't put off talking to Koutarou any longer... Hesitating outside his bedroom door, he braced himself for the inevitable. This was right around when his partners usually dumped him, and as much as he wanted to believe Koutarou was different, he couldn't help but worry... But he had to do this. So, rather than putting it off any longer, Kaneki opened the door, letting himself in with a quiet, "Hey... I figured we probably need to talk."

Koutarou hummed in agreement as Kaneki shut the door behind him and settled on the edge of the bed, shoulders pulled up to his ears as he murmured, "Liliya and Annushka have gone to see L, so we don't need to worry about them eavesdropping..."

For a few, long seconds, silence lingered. Kaneki couldn't fight the apprehension that built up inside of him, muscles clenched, ready to leap into action as the drop of a hat-

"Was... Was Rize right, earlier? When she said I'm your mate?" Koutarou asked, voice surprisingly quiet and shaky. Kaneki couldn't help but look up from where he'd been unconsciously fiddling with a knife, trying to assess Koutarou's expression. The Doves gave nothing away, which just served to unnerve Kaneki all the more... Kaneki didn't let himself back out, though, preferring to nod slightly, just enough to get his point across. This was it. This was when Koutarou would reveal that Kaneki wasn't his mate and that he couldn't be with Kaneki because he was his mate and he'd dump him and-

"I... I'm really glad this is a two-way thing..." Koutarou breathed, relief flooding from him. That... Kaneki couldn't help but frown in confusion, tilting his head and assessing Koutarou. Thankfully, it didn't take the Dove long to figure out what was up, rolling his eyes and smiling fondly as he took Kaneki's hand with a soft, "You're my mate too, Ken. I just wasn't sure if I was yours."

That...  _ Oh _ . Kaneki couldn't fight the grin that tugged at his lips as he shuffled closer to his boyfriend, sitting right next to him whilst still facing him before whispering, "How... How long have you known?"

"Since... Since we got back in contact, since just after I found out who you were. It... It's part of why I had to see you, when we baked together before Porpora and BB took me..." Koutarou replied, not meeting Kaneki's eye in favour of taking his knife from him and leaving it on the bedside cabinet that Kaneki kept the steampunk gun Koutaou had given him for Christmas on. That just... Holy shit.  _ Holy shit! _ That meant-

"I... We could have gotten together then? Might have, if I hadn't brushed off your flirting?" Kaneki gasped, incredulous. At Koutarou's confused eyebrow raise, Kaneki took both of his hands and murmured, "I... I realised when we were still in the  _ orphanage _ , Kou. I... All that time, we could have- But I just brushed you aside because I thought I was just going to to be a rebound, that it was just sex, that you could never actually like me-"

"I... Ken, you mean the world to me, okay?" Koutarou cut Kaneki off, pulling his hands away so he could cup the ghoul's cheeks. Kaneki couldn't help but gaze at Koutarou, awed by his boyfriend, as the omega said, "You've known since the orphanage? All this time? And... And you really thought I wouldn't  _ want  _ you?  _ You _ ? Ken, you are the most amazing person I've ever met. You've been through so much, became the thing you hated most in the world, but you kept fighting. You keep fighting! Day in, day out, you fight for equality for ghouls. I... I never would have given ghouls a second chance if it weren't for you... But you're so much more than your cause. You're so kind, and sweet, and an incredible dad. You care so much,  _ love _ so much, and you're the best alpha I could ask for-"

Koutarou cut himself off when he realised that his hands were starting to get damp. Kaneki was... He was crying, silent tears trailing down his face as he tried to smother them. He... He'd always thought that he wasn't good enough, that Koutarou would only put up with him for so long, that he'd just leave him one day, but... But they were mates. And Koutarou actually  _ cared _ , in a way none of the other people Kaneki had dated had ever done. He... Kaneki couldn't help but collapse into Koutarou, burying his face in his mate's nack, nuzzling his scent gland as he sobbed quietly, brokenly. Koutarou froze, unsure as to what had prompted Kaneki to break, but the alpha's quiet whispered filled him in on what he'd missed...

"I...  _ Thank you... _ I... Fuck, Kou, you have no idea how much that means to me. I... You are so fucking perfect. I don't fucking deserve you... But you  _ want _ me. You... I'm your  _ mate _ . I... I don't deserve you... You're so fucking amazing and I'm just a useless alpha, a fucking monster, but you... You want me? I'm not good enough for you-"

"You are, Ken," Koutarou cut him off, pulling him close and pressing a kiss to his hair. It just broke Kaneki all the more, as he melted against Koutarou, but the Dove kept talking, petting Kaneki's hair and whispering, "You are good enough, Ken. I love you, alright? I have for ages now, and I will continue to do so. You're my  _ mate _ and I'm yours. I love you..."

Koutarou continued to murmur sweet words to Kaneki, keeping it up until the alpha was calm enough to pull away, wiping his eyes and stuttering out, "I... We... We should also talk ab... about me... eating from you."

At Koutarou's interested noise and small nod, Kaneki took a deep, fortifying breath before murmuring, "I... I really don't want to hurt you, Kou... But, like, it's so hard to resist when you offer. You... You have  _ no _ idea how delicious you are. And I just... I never want to hurt you, but it's just so fucking tempting-"

"I trust you," Koutarou cut him off, cupping his cheeks and brushing away the remnants of his tears. It made Kaneki pause, blinking quickly, but Koutarou beat him to it, pressing their foreheads together and practically breathing out, "I trust you, Ken. I know you'll hold back, you won't hurt me too much-"

"I don't want to hurt you at all-"

"And I  _ want _ you to eat from me!" Koutarou argued, a hint of desperation in his tone. That... What? Koutarou seemed to realise just how confused Kaneki was, blushing slightly as he whispered, "I... I want you to, okay? I just... I heard that it can be really intimate and important for ghoul-human relationships... Snake... He told me about his human girlfriend and apparently, she's his mate, and he said that ghouls naturally can't help but want to eat from their mates, even if that mate is another ghoul, and I just... I want us to be able to be that intimate, I want you to want me like that, and I know it's messed up, but it's  _ you _ and I trust you and-"

Kaneki couldn't help but kiss his boyfriend, one hand in his hair and the other on his cheek. Koutarou flailed for a second, but quickly got with the program, nibbling lightly on Kaneki's lip. It drew a growl, low, guttural and hungry, from the alpha as he pressed ever closer, easily taking control. Koutarou whimpered slightly, giving in easily as Kaneki leaned over him, pushing him down onto the bed- The next noise Koutarou made, small but pained, had Kaneki pulling back, frowning as he checked his boyfriend's wounds and hissed, "Fuck, I shouldn't have done that-"

"It... It was really fucking hot..." Koutarou panted, cheeks flushed and eyes dark as he watched Kaneki double-check that he hadn't pulled any stitches. The hunger in his gaze made Kaneki fluster, too, and he was sorely tempted to fuck Koutarou, then and there, injuries be damned... But he knew he couldn't. So, instead, he shuffled and rearranged them both, leaning against his pillows and letting Koutarou rest against his chest. It made the omega pout, but when he realised that Kaneki was close to his shoulder, he smirked, thinking he had won as he murmured lowly, "Are you going to eat from me, Ken?"

And, fuck, that was tempting. Kaneki wanted to just give in, to push Koutarou's top out of the way and sink his teeth into that delicate flesh- But that really wasn't a good idea while Koutarou was injured... So, instead of giving in, Kaneki shook his head, smoothing his hands gently over Koutarou's sides and whispering, "Not right now, baby. Not while you're hurt..."

"But-"

"Kou, if I eat from you, I will probably want to fuck you while I do or after, and I am not risking pulling your stitches. Besides, I ate earlier," Kaneki cut Koutarou's protests off, pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek. It made the omega grumble adorably, and Kaneki couldn't fight the chuckle that escaped him as he curled his arms around Koutarou's waist, pulling him ever closer and relaxing. They remained like that, comfortable despite the knowledge that they had one last thing to talk about... But, it had to be brought up, and it was Koutarou who shattered the silence.

"I... We should probably talk about what we mentioned during my heat. About kids..." he stuttered, slightly tense. Kaneki couldn't fight the wave of anger, self-loathing and inferiority that washed over him, well aware that he'd never be able to provide Koutarou with a family. Not like he wanted anyway... The omega picked up on his alpha's distress, clasping his hands and squeezing them as he whispered, "I spoke to Snake about that, too, when talking to him about feeding. I... He said that ghouls and humans can't have kids be... because it could kill the carrier..."

"I... Yeah... But it's a little more complicated for me..." Kaneki sighed, only elaborating when Koutarou pressed closer to him and squeezed his hands again, "I... I'm a half-ghoul, both human and ghoul. We... We don't know if my ghoul biology will affect any kids I have or not, considering I was a human first... And if it does, more than we realise, and you get pregnant... It could kill you. And that can't happen. I'm sorry, I know you want kids, but I can't risk losing you. I just  _ can't _ -"

"I get it," Koutarou murmured, twisting just enough to nuzzle into Kaneki's hair, "I get it, Ken..."

The couple remained like that, silently holding each other, for a long while. In the end, they only moved when Koutarou's stomach rumbled, something that made the omega blush slightly whilst Kaneki chuckled. Kaneki pressed a soft kiss to Koutarou's cheek before quietly asking, "Do you want me to cook you something?"

"No," Koutarou pouted, leaning all of his weight on Kaneki in an attempt to keep the alpha where he was. 

It made Kaneki laugh, a bright, free thing, as he kissed Koutarou's cheek and teased, "Be good for me, baby, and I'll treat you..."

The bight blush that stained Koutarou's cheeks did nothing to detract from his obvious interest as he stuttered out, "I... What do you mean?"

"Let me make you something, eat it, and be a good bo- omega for me, and I'll treat you..." Kaneki reiterated his point, smirking when Koutarou shifted obviously. The omega's flush had travelled, dusting his neck and making it look all the more delectable...

"You... You said no sex..." Koutarou breathed, a small protest despite the erection Kaneki could already see starting to strain his trousers. It made the alpha chuckle, a dark, dangerous thing that spread Koutarou's blush further, as he reached down, palming the hardness for a moment...

"I said I won't fuck you," Kaneki specified, enjoying the way Koutarou bucked into his hand and feeling himself harden against his boyfriend's lower back, "I never said anything about hand jobs. Or, more specifically, blow jobs..."

The small whine that escaped Koutarou while he shuffled enough for Kaneki to get off the bed made his alpha want to stay, food be damned, but Kaneki knew he had to make sure Koutarou ate... So, instead of giving in to his desire to just push Koutarou against the mattress and have his way, Kaneki escaped, pressing a soft kiss to Koutarou's forehead befoe hurrying to the kitchen. He needed to be quick about cooking, else he may have just exploded...


End file.
